It's been awhile

Yes, it has been some time since I've posted, but I think I'll start it up again.

First, a response, regardless of whether you are reading my blogs or not, or whether yours was directed at me, here it is. Is guilt really an emotion you posses? Ok, low blow. I'm sure you do, because you are more emotional than you want to admit. But then, that's part of the problem, isn't it. You can't be yourself. You can't admit to anyone who you really are. You hide. You run. And you deflect. Perhaps it's out of fear that no one will like you. Perhaps it's because you don't like yourself. Whatever the reason, you're being an idiot. I fell for the guy you are, not the poser you've been or are trying to be. Further, our mutual friends like that same person. They see through the bull shit just as I did. But we care for you, and not the poser. And certainly not the compulsive liar that seems to have become prevalent. I mean, not only am I a stalker, but I took advantage of you?! Are you fucking serious?! ANYONE who knows me would laugh in your face on that accusation. I'm insecure about guys (whether or not that is obvious) and am a big old teddy bear. You came on to me. I had no intention of coming on to you...you're 20 and attractive; that combination intimidates me, so regardless of my attraction to you, I wouldn't have acted on it. And fine, if you didn't want me, that's life. Been there, done that, and will likely do it again. But don't try to make me out to be the bad guy.

Regardless; if there is something you need to say, then say it. And you are a great person, though if you never admit that to yourself, you're never going to be able to allow someone else to love you.

Whew; got that off my chest. And I know some would say that I need to practice some of what I just preached. However, regardless of how low I get, or how insecure I can be, I do love myself (otherwise, it would have been over long ago). And I certainly will allow others to love me, if anyone had any doubts there. ;)

Ok, enough for now. I'm going to post some info about my recent online soap opera that I've experienced recently. That should be good for a few laughs. Until then... :D