Seriously, what a nightmare of a day. I can't win for losing. I can't do anything right, whether at home or at work. I need to learn not to trust people. I thought I had, but evidently I keep making that mistake. I hurt. I bleed. And what's it all for? Nothing.
I really want a surgery to cut out my emotions. I'm tired of feeling since all it ever is is pain. I want to be numb.
This will pass. It always does. But for now, I'm broken. I'm beaten. I'm sitting on the curb crying while the rain washes away the tears. Hoping for something more someday. Doubting it will come. Pessimism is taking over what was left of my optimism.
And I'm so tired of people telling me I have a choice as to whether to be happy or not. To a point, it's true, and I don't deny it. But living life alone takes its toll. Not having that someone to share your life with is like a daily root canal. Something painful, but nothing that can be done about it. I'm not ever going to be completely happy alone. I will be happy again. I will be sad again. Good times and bad. But I'll have no one to share that with.
Bitch session over. Not that anyone cares.
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